searching for true love

I couldn’t resist but to type these thing out just so you know how fantastic this book is… to help you to get jump start… this is how the author struggled in her relationship repeat in cycle of broken hearted again and again.

“I think we should break up,” he softly said. Those were the words I’d been dreading for months. “I’m ready to start seeing other people.”

My trembling fingers tightened around the phone cord, and I choked back the sob that threatened to explode from my tightening lungs. There was a long, awkward pause as he waited for me to speak. My only consolation was that he could not see my pale face. I would never have been able to hide my devastated expression had he been in the room at that heart-wrenching moment.

The nightmare had come true…again. What had started out as a harmless, fun, innocent relationship had slowly become a complicated entanglement of emotion and passion, only to end abruptly now that the fire had faded. The cutting pain that ruthlessly squeezed my heart was so intense I could scarcely breathe. Somehow, I managed to end the phone call with at least a small amount of dignity. As I placed the receiver into its cradle, a dark cloud of despair overcame me, mercilessly pouring a violent torrent of rejection and hopelessness into my reeling mind.

It was over. Once again, I was in for a sleepless night of agony, hours of weeping until no more tears would come. Once again, I would have to face the aching, desperate loneliness of walking into a crowded room full of strangers – with no hand to hold, no strong arm to gently rest on my back and give me security. Once again, I was alone.

How many years had I longed and urgently searched for true love? How many nights had I lain awake, dreaming of a beautiful romance --- a lasting relationship that wouldn’t end in heartache?

I had made incredible sacrifices in an attempt to somehow cling to every short-lived dating relationship that came my way. I had given pieces of myself away to each man that came into my life --- pieces of my heart, my emotions, and even my body. Yet once he had tired of me, my fragile heart would be played with and then carelessly tossed aside. Even if I was the one who ended a relationship, the heartbreaking pain was inevitable. Every time it felt like something precious was being violently ripped from inside of me.

I yearned to be loved and cherished. I had dreamed of a perfect love story for my entire life. But somewhere in the midst of the endless cycle of one temporary romance after the next, my dreams had shattered right along with the broken and fragmented pieces of my heart.

As I lay on my bed pondering these thoughts, I found myself inwardly forming a desperate prayer.

“God, where are You in this?”…

This is how the book gets started. The compelling subject as love is never a miss-subject to anyone of us especially those haven’t got married. As I keep reading… I just feel like typing the whole book and paste here. Every page has its way to reveal the truth I’ve missed. And revisit my inner consciousness about this part of my life. I’m tired of cycle again and again either. I’ve given pieces and pieces of myself away either. I stop singing on the guitar because it used to share with someone else. Many lonely nights its feel as pain likes the author’s. You searching what went wrong. You wonder can love be simpler than this. And you ask in the end, “God, where are You in this?”…

On the side notes, I must say this… I like their writing style! I recall Boys Meet Girls right after I read the first page. When they write, they paint picture in your mind. You’re like watching a movie. You feel their emotions. They put you to see what they see. Very inviting. As for me as a writer, I prefer to write in this way rather than just saying something point form. In order to convey; you must connect.

So now you have it. . You bet I will recommend this book to you if you have read Boys Meets Girls regarding relationship. There are more I want to say. But I leave you to find out.

P/s: thanks Erin.

Listening to: Gravity - John Mayer