what's matter

I didn’t plan to write but I like to keep myself a bit late tonight. First thought came in was an image I saw myself reflect from the train mirror a while ago. I lost great amount of weight these days. Seriously, I feel sorry for myself for the first time. Why all these busy-ness? Why all the run and go? Why am I doing all these? Was it worth it? I’m confident with some of those is worthwhile. But some others… I don’t know. Sadly, those were the part that everyone feels is important for the reason hardly makes sense to the risk I take.

As New Year approaching, I guess I have some strong no to some of those involvements in exchange to strong yes to what I can do in this season of my life. I honestly don’t want to be busy like this actually. At least, the effort has to worth something that makes sense to me.

I have this feeling. I feel like there’s no tomorrow. Is not that kind of theory thing in some preaching or speech. I mean… is like real. The way I see time is this…

Time is dropping non-stop. When it is finish… it’s really finish.

Compare to if you see time as this…

You will feel that time is forever. You feel like having forever to do something. There’s always tomorrow.

The way to see my metaphor is when you have something to achieve in a certain point of time. Let say, you have an exam at 8 morning later. You wouldn’t spend your time on something else other than your preparation for the exam. If you don’t, you’ll miss it. Every single minute between 8 and now, is priceless. We live an average 80 years old, how long do we have actually?

My point is… I have something important to do. This thing is not making sense to most young people but definitely logical to older people. Problem with young people is… they never know how it is feeling to be old, ill and disable. In some extreme, maybe you can’t protect your family or provide.

If you are my close friend and you feel I have neglected you for some times… I feel sorry too. I’m making strong move towards what my heart desires in order to come back to you… again. I always think of you guys. Sometimes I feel so strong to take my chance to work in UK and put this to an end. Is not run away. Is… doing what’s really matter.

Before I end, this is what I read from SUCCESS BUILD TO LAST recently. If I remember clearly, it goes like this…

“You can’t have time for everything. But you must have time for what’s matter to you.”

I have this wisdom for some time ago…

“You are nobody until you live for somebody.” – Jacob.Y

Is Christmas now, go and cherish with those who really matters to you. Spend time thinking about them and spend time with them. They are our future.